Read History

2026 | Score: 5.5

A silly little story. Nothing memorable but an easy read. Probably a good book for newer adult readers.

Format: Book

Days: 5

Date: 7/22/2026 -> 7/27/2026

Summary (Spoilers)

Starter Villain
John Scalzi

Starter Villain Summary

Charlie Fitzer
Jake Baldwin
Mathilda Morrison
Hera Persephone

Charlie Fitzer is a down on his luck divorced ex-journalist working as a substitute teacher to get by. He has been living in his deceased dad’s old house, but his siblings keep pressuring him to sell to split the payout. He goes to the local bank to try to get a business loan to buy a beloved pub in town, McDougal’s, but has little chance of getting it due to his situation. On the way home he finds a stray kitten he takes home with him. Charlie finds a lady sitting on his front porch who introduces herself as Mathilda Morrison, an employee of his recently deceased billionaire parking-garage mogul uncle Jake Baldwin.

Morrison tells him that as his uncle’s only living relative, he wanted Charlie to stand at his funeral. The deal is if he does this his uncle’s estate will buy the house and give it to Charlie along with some excess cash. Charlie agrees. Persephone the kitten gets along with his preexisting stray cat Hera he has had for some time. Charlie goes to his uncle's funeral which starts off weird with a bunch of flower pots with insults on them arriving. Then when people come to view the body a man attempts to stab his uncle’s dead body and he learns everyone present is just there to confirm Jake is dead. Everyone leaves and when Charlie arrives home he finds his cats outside then notices a man in his window, right before his house explodes.

He gets a call from Morrison that says to follow the cat, and Hera leads him to a house around the corner where she talks to him using a specialized keyboard and computer. Morrison shows up and takes him and his cats to Saint Genevieve island in the Caribbean, where he learns about his uncle's real business, which is being a villain. He owns a bunch of businesses that do various things, such as a weather controlling box that is also a laser to hit satellites. He learns that all the cats have been engineered to be super intelligent and are used as spies, as well as intelligent dolphins who want to unionize.

Charlie has to attend the Lombardy Convocation, at the Bellagio Hotel in Italy. This is a group of villains his uncle antagonized and they are hoping he will join them. They are led by Anton Dobrev who asks to meet Charlie in private. They are talking and get along fairly well before missiles hit the building and Charlie is forced to run to his room to free Hera. Tobias, the guy who tried to stab his uncle at the funeral, shows up and saves Charlie by killing another assassin, but then pinning the missiles and the murder of Dobrev on Charlie. He manages to escape and return to Saint Genevieve island but it is a mess.

The new leader of the convocation, Roberto Gratas, meets with Charlie over Zoom and threatens to turn him over to the FBI and attack him unless he gives them a lot of money since many members of the convocation seem to be broke. Charlie refuses then a couple missiles hit his harbor, so he makes a plan and calls back. He tells them about a bunch of valuable WWII stuff he has locked up on the island and says the remaining members of the convocation are welcome to it, but they have to come in person and retrieve it.

They agree so just Charlie, Morrison, Tobias the Stabber, Gratas + 5 more convocation members meet and head up to the storeroom, where Gratas has Tobias kill the 5 extra members, only to discover all the boxes of loot are empty. Gratas is enraged and when they return to the beach Tobias reveals that he has been dating / working for Morrison this whole time, and Gratas falls into the bay where the dolphins kill him. Then Anton Dobrev shows up alive.

Dobrev and Morrison reveal their plan, which was to use Charlie to lure the convocation out and remove them. Charlie was never even the hair to his uncle’s fortune, just a game piece. He returns to the house Hera had near his old one, and Hera (his cat) owns her own real estate company so she sets him up with some money then buys him the pub he wanted to own at the start so it is a happy ending. THE END.